Forgotten but not yet Gone
by Schizzar
Summary: Knoll has given up on living. Gerik has lost his way. What happens when the two meet? Warnings inside, hints of yaoi, and will be continued in an actual series later.


**I wrote this awhile back and it's pretty angsty. I like it though and I think it is one of my best things that I've written. So the warnings are yaoi, some mild language, and character death. The pairing is Knoll x Gerik. **

**There is rationality behind something so bizarre. If you read the ending parts at the end up the game, Knoll disappears never to be seen again and so does Gerik so I thought of what would happen if they met each other. So enjoy and I do not own Fire Emblem. **

It was getting increasingly harder, living, at least that's what Knoll found. He had fixed Grado, even after the earthquake they had seen that day but despite all the happiness that had begun to flow through the land, he could not feel himself enjoying it. Of course, he had foreseen this. He could not live without Lyon, it was a simple fact that he had come to accept.

So now, here he sat, at the steps of the Dark Temple, hesitating to step inside and finally end his life like he had planned on doing. He wondered why he did no have the happiness the others who had fought did; he had worked just as hard, and he should have healed after having his love destroyed. But time had passed, and the wound did not close, his sorrow only growing larger and larger.

"Knoll?"

Knoll whipped his head up, pushing the hood of his cloak down and brushing lavender strands of hair out of his face so he could properly examine the man that had come to stand before him.

"Gerik?" he questioned, startled to see the green haired fighter from the war so long ago.

"What are you doing here, Knoll?" Gerik asked, unclipping the sword and bow from his back and setting them on the ground so he could sit comfortably beside the other.

"I could ask you the same thing," Knoll replied easily, carefully avoiding the subject.

"Don't avoid the question," Gerik said with a smirk, chuckling when Knoll frowned.

"You're too good. I have come here to die," Knoll answered. He figured it was best if he was frank instead of dancing around the subject. It would not do him any good to do so.

Gerik didn't seem surprised as he glanced away, his lips set in a grim line and his jaw working as he thought. "You have lost your purpose then?"

"My purpose died the day the Demon King was destroyed," Knoll said quietly.

"Ah, the Prince. I've heard of loyal subjects but to think you would be so loyal to him that you would have no reason to live after he was gone. It's sad, though I can't stop it," Gerik muttered.

"I was in love with him," Knoll finished.

"That explains it," Gerik sighed. "Star crossed lovers, eh?"

"I wouldn't say that..."

"You believe in fate don't you?" Gerik interrupted.

"Yes," Knoll answered, wondering where the man was going with this.

"Well, then it was fate that you fell in love and he died and probably fate that you will die now. Can't argue with that. It was fate that man let me live when he could've killed me," Gerik said, staring off into the distance.

"Excuse me?"

"The scar. It's from a fight when I was younger. The man could've killed me; I had gotten too cocky, but he didn't. He let me go. Let me live to fight another day. It must've been fate," Gerik told him.

"I suppose so. Did fate bring us together now, or was that of your own choosing?" Knoll asked.

"I don't know. I don't know why I'm even here to be honest. I just got sick of the killing, got sick of life in general. Never thought I'd be the one to say that; I was always the one striving for the better day, the better chance, the better life. And now I want to end it," Gerik chuckled. "Funny how these things work out."

"In a bitter sort of way I suppose," Knoll mused.

"Heh. So when's the deed going to be done?"  
"Deed?" Knoll asked.

"You...dying, an all," Gerik said awkwardly.

"Ah...well, I'm not in a rush. I'm quite enjoying our time aren't you?" Knoll asked.

"Yeah, now that I look at it."

"Well, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go for it," Gerik said.

"Do you want to die?"

Gerik raised his eyebrows. "I don't know. I don't want to live but I don't want to die either, as strange as that sounds. I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll just give up and let the monsters have their way with me here."

"That would be a horrible way for the Desert Tiger to go down."

"It would be, wouldn't it? I guess I'll have to find some fearsome foe and have him kill me then. That is certainly more heroic," Gerik joked.

Laughing, Knoll shook his head. "You have quite a sense of humor, Gerik. I regret not taking the chance to get to know you earlier."

"Well, we're making up for it now, aren't we?" Gerik asked.

"I suppose so."

Silence fell over them, neither knowing what to say but neither really minding that it was quiet. It gave them time to think without feeling the need to speak their thoughts out loud. Surprisingly, it was Knoll who broke the silence first.

"I really loved him."

Gerik glanced at him sidelong. "Lyon?"

"Yes. He was the kindest man I knew and I respected him. He was so willing to help others, so willing to sacrifice himself for the good of others. If only...the Demon King...never existed." The last words came out as a hiss so full of malice that it surprised Gerik. Knoll had been so placid before.

"I..." For once, the green haired man was left speechless.

"Never have I hated such a thing so much. Never have I wanted to drag something to hell and see to it that it was tortured in such away that he would experience every ounce of anguish and pain physically that I was forced to endure emotionally. Never have I wished such horrible things upon something else. It just proves I am not worthy of Lyon. I am not worth of something so perfect, so angelic, so beautiful." The words were tortured and Gerik could see tears tracing down the other's pale cheeks though his eyes were hidden by the long lavender locks.

"Knoll-" He reached out to pat Knoll's shoulder reassuringly only to have his hand knocked away.

"Don't touch me. You'll only contract my poison. I am too foul to truly be a human," Knoll hissed, still not looking at him.

"Don't be stupid. You are human, whether you think you're worthy or not. You will just have to accept it," Gerik ordered, angry now that Knoll was acting so pathetic. He had thought the man to be stronger; it seemed he was wrong.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," Knoll whispered. "Please forgive me."

Gerik sighed, shutting his eyes briefly. "It's fine, Knoll. You don't feel quite right, I understand that. You're subject to mood swings."

"It still does not excuse what I said," Knoll protested.

"True," Gerik said. "It takes a lot for a man to admit that. You shoulder a lot of blame on yourself, don't you?"  
"I blame everything on myself, even though I shouldn't. If I hadn't helped create the Dark Stone, Lyon never would've been taken over by the Demon King, those lives wouldn't have been lost."

"You can't shoulder all the blame. There were others involved. It wasn't just you," Gerik said.

"I know...but I was still a part of it," Knoll said quietly.

"Don't worry about it," Gerik told him. "We've all done things we regret, it's what makes us human I think."

"You have a lot of important things to say, Gerik."

"I'd like to think so. But I'm just your average mercenary who accidentally became something bigger than he ever meant to. Call it fate again, if you wish," Gerik mused.

"Thank you." Knoll looked Gerik in the eyes this time, a small smile on his lips.

"I don't know what I did but you're welcome," Gerik said.

"Can I ask you one more thing? A favor really..."

"Sure."

"Would you mind if I kiss you?"

Gerik's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

Knoll smirked. "A silly question. I don't know why I asked."

"Have you ever done anything romantic with another person, Knoll?" Gerik asked curiously, shrugging off the question from earlier.

"No."

"You're so innocent," Gerik mumbled. "For someone who seems so dark, there's such an innocence about you, I don't want to corrupt it."

"So you aren't disgusted?" Knoll asked quietly.

"Love is blind, Knoll. It knows not of age or gender. It is something that simply is. I'm not saying I love you but that is my belief and with that belief, I believe that for me, lust operates the same way, even more so if you think about it," Gerik explained quietly.

Knoll was painfully aware of how close they had gotten as Gerik had spoken and even more aware of the heat of a large, calloused hand on the back of his neck.

"Innocence does not exist for me, not anymore."

That was all he needed to hear. Gerik closed the remaining space between them, pressing their lips together so gently that Knoll could barely feel it at first until suddenly, Gerik pressed closer, forcing their lips together hard.

Knoll felt his hands raise without waiting for the command from his brain, delving into rough green locks as a nimble tongue slipped into his mouth and led his into a dance of lust as ancient as the temple they sat on the steps of. He was amazed at how good the other tasted, the heady scent that had invaded his nose making him crave more and more until he could no longer stand it and he was forced to pull away, scared at the feeling bubbling up within him.

"Sorry," Gerik panted. "I shouldn't have forced so much upon you so quickly."

"Don't worry about it," Knoll murmured. "I just...it scared me."

"Does love scare you?" Gerik asked softly.

"More than anything in the world."

"Do you want me to stay longer or should I leave now?" he asked.

"Leave, quickly, please. I may lose my nerve if you don't."

"So it's fate that you have to die?" Gerik asked.

"Yes. Nothing, not even you, not even given time, can heal me now. I must take my leave from his world," Knoll said gently, somehow more calm about it then Gerik.

"I will miss you," Gerik said plainly.

"I'll be waiting."

Gerik picked up his weapons and walked away without looking back, knowing it was the last time he would ever lay his eyes on the fallen angel.


End file.
